Painting

Painting pumpkins...and herself;-)

Wonderful Week

Happy Halloween! It's been a while since I've written, but that's because I've been having a wonderful time with my childhood friend, Laura. She arrived from North Carolina on Saturday and we've just had the BEST time ever. I hadn't seen her in 3 years - so we had much to catch up on. She's doing very well. I'm very happy for that. We had late nite chats reminiscing and giggle-fests thinking about all the stupid things we did growing up. It felt so good! It's just so great to have a friend that you can totally open up to, be completely silly with, and have it be so comfortable - no matter how long it has been. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a friend like her. We were inseperable from the time I moved to Louisiana when I was 9 until I went to Tech and she went to North Carolina our junior year of college. I owe so much to her. We have always been complete polar opposites, but somehow compliment eachother in just the right way. To this day, we are still very different personality-wise and lead very different lives - but it's perfect. Monday and Tuesday, we vegged and caught up. Wednesday, we went to New Orleans and ate at Mulate's and to the Children's Museum - VERY COOL place! We went to Zachary on Thursday where we ate a Sonny's Pizza (an old fave), drove around the high school, and went to the cemetary to visit my Mom's and an old friend's grave. Then, we drove around our old block 4 times and sat in front of our houses for a long time (we were next-door neighbors). So many wonderful childhood memories exist in those houses and that neighborhood. It's very different there now, yet still exactly the same. I'm sure that doesn't make sense unless you're inside my head. Sorry. We were very fortunate to have amazing, positive, safe childhoods. I remember very little bad stuff - until Mom got sick - and even that wasn't so bad because she and dad protected us from a lot of it. We had dinner with Keri, Chad, and the boys before we headed back to Slidell. It was fun! Last night the kids went to the Parent's Nite Out Boo Bash (Halloween Carnival) at Cross Gates and Laura and I went to a movie and dinner (do you see and eating trend here? yes, we did A LOT of that;-). It was a nice, relaxing last night together. Today we went to the French Quarter in New Orleans and Laura had her tarot cards read. It was cool and it will be interesting to see if the future he predicted pans out;-) All I have to say is I'm incredibly grateful...to have heart-warming memories and a wonderful friend to share them with. I already miss her terribly, but vow to not let 3 more years pass before I see her again.

Tomorrow we go to Baton Rouge. Yea! Another fun distraction. It's only been 2 weeks since Ryan left. DANG! 3 or 4 more to go. It will be fun to Trick-or-Treat with the cousins! They are always hilarious together. We are SOOO lucky to be living close to family right now. I don't think we'll come back until Tuesday b/c Keri has off until then;-) Laney is going to be Dora the Explorer and Maddy will be Boots (the monkey from Dora - although it's not the "real" costume - I wasn't about to pay $120 on ebay for it). Austin will be a S.W.A.T. guy, Nicholas will be Harry Potter, and Bradley's going to be Flash - too cute! I love Halloween. I just wish Ryan were here this year. Come to think of it...he's only been home for 1 of 7 and that was to conceive Maddy. Something's not quite right about those statistics. Ricky has to work, too. BUMMER! Looks like Chad's the MAN this year;-)

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO VOTE ON NOV 2ND. EVERY SINGLE VOTE COUNTS to keep idiots out of office. And please remember that November 2, 2004 has been designated as National Celibacy Day: Looks like I'll be celebrating that one in full force:)~

Anyway, I'm beat. I plan on sleeping very, very late tomorrow. HA!!! As if...

Ang

Ms. Potato Head

Maddy as Mr. Potato Head

About Maddy

I always think about how unfortunate it is that no one gets to know my children like Ryan and I do. I'm sure all parents feel this way. I guess you have to live with someone and spend the majority of your time with them, talk to them, and truly listen to them to really learn what they're about. This is so true about Delaney and Madelyn. People know Delaney is sweet, compassionate, incredibly smart, easy-going, friendly, sarcastic, and loves all things girly...but that's just the beginning. There is just so much more to her than that. Hopefully, through this journal, others will begin to understand the depth of personality she really has.

Now, a little bit about Maddy. Madelyn Christine Dick has a strong personality. Of course, I've know that since in utero. The best way to describe her personality is black/white or hot/cold. She can be stubborn and hard-headed if she's not getting her way, but incredibly lovable when she is. But again, there's SO much more to her than that. The truth is, though, she never truly opens up until we're home and she feels secure and comfortable with just us. That's how I know no one can know her like we do.

Anyway, what sparked me to write about this topic is how freakin' funny she has been lately. I've never know a person so little (15 mo.) to have such a good sense of humor. I mean, she truly TRIES to make people laugh...and she does. She can have me, Ryan, and Delaney rolling because she's acting so silly. For example, the other day, she wore Mr. Potato Heads glasses around the house (see photo above) for an hour and a half, just because we laughed at her each time she entered the room. She makes funny sounds and purposefully falls down so we'll crack up. She just eats it up! Now she has started dancing every time a beat is heard...it's hysterical. She spins around with her hands in the air and then stops and shakes her bootie and bounces up and down. In the car, she is notorious for "bobbing her head" to the music. It's very "Uncle Chad"! She also has a new reaction to being mad (because it makes Delaney giggle), throwing things. Great. She just grabs the nearest object and just chunks it. And that girl's got an arm! Obviously, I don't think it's very funny (expecially when it's food), but, hey, it gets my attention. She's such a stinker!

Another thing about Madelyn that most people don't know is how bright she is. The sense of humor is one indication, but there's more. It was easy to see Delaney was smart. By 15 months of age she was talking a lot and signing everything else. Her frustration level was kept low because she could communicate so well. Maddy is definately more frustrated, but only because of her communication, not because she doesn't understand her surroundings. She has decided she only wants to sign "more", "eat", "drink", "all done", and "bath" consistently. That's it. But that says SO much in itself. She understands WAY more than she lets on. I know she knows more signs, b/c I've seen her do them once or twice. Another example: If she has something in her hand that is trash and you say "That's yucky, throw it in the garbage", she will. However, if it's something she wants to hold on to for a while, she'll just give you a look of "huh?" and go on playing with it. I swear she plays "dumb" sometimes, just to get what she wants or get someone to do something for her. I have numerous examples like that. Manipulative much? Yet, a sign of intelligence nonetheless:-) She definatley tests my patience more than once a day. We butt heads often, but she's just so darn cute, I usually let her get her way (I know, that's not a good thing - but I'm supposed to "choose my battles" right?). I hope you'll learn a little more about Maddy through these journals, as well.

I just wish there were words to describe my love for my children. There just aren't any that exist. They are wonderful, amazing, precious little beings. God truly blesses me each day I have with them. I feel like the luckiest person on earth to be their Mommy and to be able to spend as much time with them as I do. I wish every Mom had the opportunity I have. I don't take it for granted one bit. Sure, I get frustrated and overwhelmed and exhausted...but I'm supposed to. Sure, some days I KNOW it would be easier to be at a job, letting someone else take care of them for 9 hours a day. (Please take no offense, I realize some people work b/c they have no choice and others work b/c they want to.) But no matter how I feel, I know that no child care worker loves them and cherishes them like I do. It's just not possible (believe me, I've worked in or observed in over 40 daycare settings). I just hope I don't let them down.

I found this and hope to be able to apply it to my parenting:

To My Child:
Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day.............

Another motto I try to live by:
"It will be gone before you know it. The fingerprints on the wall appear higher and higher, then suddenly they disappear..." :-(

If Ryan's reading this, WE WANT YOU HOME! I love you.

Sorry for getting so mushy,
Angie

Sleepy girls

Ryan has a way with girls;-)

Bummed

Yep, it's official...I'm bummed. I REALLY didn't want to get out of bed today. Ryan left early this AM for a month and a half. The countdown begins. So I guess that's like 40 days, huh? He put Laney in bed with me so I would have someone to snuggle with. She's a good snuggler - except she kicks all the covers off and I like to be completely submerged in them:-)

It really wasn't that bad of a day once I decided to get up. Delaney had school pictures today, so we had to fix her hair cute. She got it cut yesterday at the mall. We took the kids to see Shark Tale afterward. It was funny - but had too much adult humor in it. Maddy wasn't too interested in it...but she like the popcorn a whole lot! Originally we had the wonderful idea to leave the kids at Cross Gates drop-in child care for a couple of hours and go see a movie by ourselves. When we got there they informed us they were closing in an hour. So much for our "date". We had fun all together, anyway! I mentioned to someone the other day that I don't remember the last movie I saw at the theater, other than a cartoon...and it's true. Sad. I don't even remember the last date I went on with my husband. Even more sad. Oh well, the joys of parenthood!

I'm going to cut this short b/c I've been thinking about a bubbly bath and a good book all day. It was one of those days with NO break...except going to the gym for step aerobics...but is that really a "break"? I want to end with a sweet story. All day yesterday Delaney wanted me or Ryan to draw her a picture. I don't know why. I guess b/c she draws us like 3 a day, she sometimes expects one in return;-) Anyway, Ryan kept saying he would draw her one once he was finished packing. Well, he didn't finish packing until 10:30pm or so and she was in bed sound asleep by then. It seemed to be forgotten. He came to bed about 11 and we layed there talking for a while and drifted off to sleep. I woke up after midnight and he wasn't in bed. I got up and snuck into the kitchen. He was sitting at the counter drawing a picture for his baby girl because he promised... knowing he had to get up in just a few hours. He knows how much she misses him when he's gone and he was giving her something to hold dear. It was a picture of him on one knee giving her a hug with hearts all around them and a big rainbow overhead (hearts and rainbows - her favorite things...how thoughtful). He folded it and wrote her name on the outside with a big heart around it. What a loving daddy...here's a 31-year-old man, half asleep, drawing hearts and rainbows for his little girl in the middle of the night. There's just nothing like that.... Oh and when she opened it this morning, I teared up. She looked at it and then put it to her heart and closed her eyes and said "I miss you, too, Daddy". Priceless. She took it to school with her and has had it with her all day. By the time he gets home I'm sure it will be in shreds, but it will still mean the same to her. That girl adores her daddy, that's for sure.

Anyway, that got long. Gotta go. It's already 11pm and my one small moment of relaxation awaits. I love my life...even on days like today.

Ang

Great News

WOO-HOO!!! We got some wonderful news this afternoon. Ryan's sister, Jennifer, and her husband, Marcus (better known around here as "Aunt J" and "Bubba") are going to be PARENTS!!!! WOW! They have been through so much. She's very young, but she found out last year that she doesn't ovulate, so she's been on fertility treatment since then. I pray that everything works out for them. It's still so early. I remember being soooo excited we told everyone the day we found out we were pregnant with Delaney. With Madelyn we waited b/c I'd already lost 2. I totally understand, though, it's like a "victory" for them. A baby...it's such and incredibly life-changing event - one you can't begin to understand unless you've lived it. People try to prepare you, but you're still absolutely clueless even after they place the that tiny person in your arms. It's so miraculous and SO overwhelming. Something new is learned on a daily basis (still). Well, the parenting journey has begun for them. I only pray they will be as blessed as Ryan and I have been.

Such a strange day, to find out a good friend lost her baby and find out a sister is pregnant within hours of eachother. Hmmm...life is so unpredictable sometimes. I now have 2 pregnant sisters-in-law (Beth and Jennifer) and a pregnant good friend (Melissa). I better not drink the water!!! With all these brand new babies around I hope I don't get "baby fever".

Gotta run, Maddy (the raw-butted diarrhea baby) is fussing. Good nite all you precious, tiny growing fetuses! You are such blessings!

Ang

What's Up

Blah...that's how I feel lately. I just have a cloud over my head that won't scoot. This time of year does that to me. It's just turned to fall weather (which is a wonderful change from the summer heat), but it reminds me of both times Ryan deployed overseas for 6 months. It just brings back that feeling of desperation and sadness, especially now that he's leaving again. Of course, I really can't complain. It's not like he'll be gone for 6 months again, or 8-12 months like most my military-wife friends are dealing with right now. He'll be gone for 5-6 weeks, which still is a long time to me. I should just be thankful - but the fact is, he's supposed to be on 3-year shore duty. HELLO?!?! Shore duty is supposed to mean that he'll be home everyday by 5. When will I ever know what that's like? It's funny because I've done it for so long (7 years now) that friends and family think I'm okay with it. Well, the truth is, I'm totally NOT okay with it. I never have been. Sure, I'm pretty independant and I know I can handle it, but when he's gone I miss him...the kids miss him...he's depressed...it just sucks. I just wait for his phone calls, which don't come often, and fake happiness for my girls. It was definatley easier before kids, I'd just sleep until he returned;-) The kids won't let me do that! Living a military life has it benefits, but it definately has it's downfalls, too. Maybe it'll be better that I'm closer to family now. If I feel overwhelmed, I can always drive to Baton Rouge. Or it may actually be more difficult because I don't have the support system of friends here like I did in San Diego. They were always SO great when Ryan was gone. Thankfully, my friend Laura is coming for a week to visit and keep me company. I haven't seen her in 3 years so I'm really looking forward to it. Also, when Ryan gets there, he'll let me know if the girls and I can drive up for a few days to visit. I love those kind of adventures.

Besides that, things are good. Ryan has been working hard to get the gutters up in the back so I can do flower beds while he's gone and the flowers won't drown. I finally ordered window coverings and they should be here...the day he leaves, of course. Maybe I can coax my brother or brother-in-law to come over and hang them for me. I can pay them with pizza and beer;-)

My friend, Gena, just had another miscarriage. This pregnancy was an unexpected surprise, but they grew very excited about it before Mark left for Iraq. I'm just very sad for them. She's has 2 beautiful children, but has had many losses, including twins. If they decide they want more they'll have to go to an infertility specialist and genetic counseling. I'm praying for them.

The girls are my sunshine! Along with Ryan, they really help to push that looming cloud away. Delaney now makes up simple, little games that Madelyn can understand. It's so nice that they can play together - Maddy get so excited. The laughter is wonderful to hear! Delaney genuinely loves her little sister and I'm so thankful for that. She worries about her when she's at school and does whatever it takes to make her happy when she's sad. She's always been such a compassionate child, but it suprises me that a 4-year-old can be so unselfish and giving at times. Maddy has been really cranky lately. Her 8th tooth WILL NOT come in. It's just been hangin' out right there under her gums for 2 weeks now, making us all miserable! I wonder, why does teething cause runny noses and diarrhea? Makes no sense to me, but it never fails to occur. Oh- Delaney's not going to be happy to find out she has to go get a flu shot this afternoon. They're not in yet for Maddy and I still haven't found out about me and Ryan. What's up with this shortage? And what's up with the government making it a priority for prison inmates to get them before the young and elderly? Ridiculous.

I had fun this past weekend. We went to Baton Rouge and my sister and I went to a beading class together. I want to learn how to do it right so eventually I can sell my bracelets (and they won't fall apart). I've been making them for breast cancer awareness and plan on giving a percentage of the proceeds for research. I wish there was a beading store around here where I could get supplies and really get going with it. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month so the inspiration to do it is everywhere. I've always done walks (Making Strides - American Cancer Society, Avon Breast Cancer 3-day, and Susan B. Comen's Race for the Cure), but I'm ready to take it to the next level. Plus, I need a healthy hobby;-)

Well, better go make lunch. Hmmm, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pb&j, or bologna? Gotta love a kids diet!

Angie

Strange Day

So, the day started out pretty typical. Tuesday's and Thursday's are "sleep-in" days because Delaney doesn't have school. So, we all slept until about 9am. By 10 we were at the gym. I had a tough/relaxing pilates/yoga class and the girls both enjoyed child care. We left there and went to Storytime at the library. I don't know why I can never be on time for that. Madelyn even sat for some of it. After that I just wanted to run a couple errands, so I assessed Maddy's mood...that's usually how I judge if I have enough time to get through a store. If she's acting tired, there's absolutely NO way we'll be able to do it without an all-out MADDITUDE somewhere around aisle 4! She just doesn't like shopping (or maybe it's sitting in the buggy - if I let her run around the store like a wild maniac, she'd be thrilled). Anyway, she seemed in good spirits so I decided to go for it. Also, I had provisions, lemonade and goldfish, which usually deter the fits for about 30 minutes once they start (one of the many wonderful tricks in Mommy's magic "What can I do to nip this fit in the bud?" bag). So off we went to Marshall's. I had a couple things to bring back and Delaney really needs a pair of jeans - and I can always find some other "necessities" in there;-)

After about 20 minutes of shopping, Delaney completely lost it. WHAT?!?!?! She has a huge melt-down because she wanted more lemonade and I didn't have any more. Then she's screaming for water, but the water fountain didn't work. HUH? So, I reach into the magic bag and pull out the "If you don't take a chill pill and shut it, we're going home and you're immediately taking a NAP!"card. Whoa. Mistake. Then she starts screaming "I DON'T WANNA TAKE A NAP!" "I WANT WATER!" over and over. I know at this point, reasoning is impossible so I just let her scream (while in my head I'm punishing her like she's never known punishment). So, to all the other customers, I look like a total meanie who won't let my child have...water. I quickly check out and get out of there before someone calls CPS because my child is neglected to the extreme of dehydration. Okay, what was I supposed to do? It was clear that she was tired and hungry (and obviously thirsty). The thing is, she's usually my shopping buddy. I think that's what I'm most upset about, more than not being able to get her to relax - which I usually can. The entire time, Madelyn, my anti-shopping child, sat quietly looking at an ELMO book we picked up in the toy section. HUH? That whole experience totally threw me for a loop.

Then, in typical, sweet Delaney-style, after waking up from her nap, she came and gave me a great, big hug and said "Mommy, I'm sorry for throwing a fit in the store and for frustrating you". She then went on to dance at 5pm as happy as could be. She even told Ryan all about it at dinner. It's like she knows she's losing control of herself but can't stop it. Before, it was always possible to get her to "change her attitude" by talking to her.

So, just FYI: There were no terrible twos...or threes...but fours - that's a different story. I know the majority of it is she's still having difficulty transitioning to Louisiana. She misses her friends deeply and talks about them, still, at least once a day. She says her heart is sad:-( But she's also says she's happy to be here where she can see family more often. And she's making new friends, so that helps, too. She likes her new school, her Spanish class, and Dance. It's just got to be so incredibly confusing for her. The only thing I can think to do to help her is to continue talking about how she feels, who and what she misses, and what we'll do when we visit there again. Of course, it depresses me to talk about it, but that's another topic for later.

I'll end here tonight. Just wanted to let you know how my day went. I better go spend time with Ryan, even though I'm exhausted, so he doesn't feel neglected, too.

Love, Ang