On the edge...

So it finally looks like we're going to get an answer soon. An answer so we can move on with our lives.

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about... Ryan applied for a dream position with ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement) a year and a half ago. He has been through the wringer with this application process. He has known for over a year that he passed the test and the background investigation and as soon as an opening comes available he will get "the call". Well, "the call" hasn't come and we've waited and waited and waited and put plans on hold and decided to move forward and changed our minds and waited some more. Everything the past 20 months has hinged on "the call"... that still hasn't come. "The call" will consist of orders somewhere... anywhere. I'm sure some of you have been through similar situations (esp. military people) so you know that the waiting to find out SUCKS. It is absolute torture. Not knowing what my life will be like this time next year, where we'll be, where my kids will go to school, what kind of house we'll live in is driving me insane. What makes it so hard is that I really love it here. I cried everyday the first 6 months after moving here and now, no matter where I go I see someone (or several people) I know and stop to chat. I finally know lots of people and have made really good friends. It took 3-4 years to get this way. I don't want to go through that again. The girls and Ryan have friends, too. It will be hard on them. On the other hand, Ryan doing a job he can't stand sucks, too. If Daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. He is miserable and happiness at a place you spend the majority of your time is vital. I am so torn.

Originally, we were told there would be a good chance of us staying in the New Orleans region. That would be ideal! Then it was Memphis and I got kinda excited because that's only 6 hours from my Illinois family. Yesterday, he got a letter from Dallas saying they need his updated medical information and should expect "the call" within a couple days once they receive his fax. Huh? Dallas? I have nothing against it - it's just unexpected (and not a sure thing yet) and I know very little about it except my Aunt Sheral and cousins Andrea and Stacey live close to there and Natalie and Damion and friend Derenda, too - which would be cool. but Dallas? They have good schools, right? And affordable houses? It's closer to Ruston and Russellville, but farther from my sister and only an hour closer to Taylorville. I don't even know if it's "real" yet because "the effing call" hasn't come yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just so tired of not knowing, of living on the edge, of waiting to begin this thing called life and feel really settled because we don't know what's going to happen.

Someone stop me, I'm spinning!!! Tell me everything is going to be allright and what's meant to be will be and God has a plan and all that. Otherwise commit me.

dreams do come true...

I've been "dreaming of..." the beach since winter. We're finally going! YIPPEE! I am one happy momma!

Blog Tag

Copy and Take to Your Blog..Tag..you are it

Five snacks you enjoy: ( in no particular order, as all snacks are created equal... )

1. walnuts and cashews

2. ice cream

3. cherry nutrigrain bar

4. pb&j

5. chocolate!

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. head over feet

2. i have been blessed

3. baby got back

4. forever young

5. i could go on and on - why can i remember every word to every song i've ever heard and not remember a thing i learned in school?

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. buy ryan an awesome Truck

2. get a bigger house

3. travel the world with my family and friends

4. hiring a maid, a nanny, a cook, a trainer, and a hot pool boy!

5. yeah, i guess i'd share some with you guys, too;) and give some to cancer research and child abuse prevention

...Five bad habits:

1. don't floss enouth

2. taking out my frustrations on my kids and husband

3. slouching

4. waiting to make all my calls in the car! Yeah, not safe huh!

5. snacking late at night

Five things you like doing:

1. eating out

2. photographing life

3. bargain shopping!

4. traveling

5. sleeping late

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get new again

1. crocs - i like them on my kids, but not myself

2. miniskirt - my legs and age are beyond that;)

3. a house with carpet - or i'll get rid of it ASAP

4. bangs

5. belly button ring - much to ryan's chagrin

Five websites you visit often:

1. everone's blogs

2. realtor.com

3. star941sandiego.com

4. coolmompicks.com

5. http://www.aap.org/parents.html (for work)

Five favorite toys:

1. computer

2. camera

3. trampoline

4. bicycle

5. kids

Five Favorite TV Shows:

1. Divine Design

2. October Road

3. Design Star

4. So You Think You Can Dance

5. Grey's Anatomy and Lost and Private Practice and Oprah (I could go on and on - I watch too much TV late at night thanks to Tivo)

Tag you are it! GO!

Breakin'

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For your entertainment...

This website blows wordcloud out of the water...

Click on the pic below and check out wordle.net


You've gotta try it! I could play with it for hours. I want posters and t-shirts. I love that you can put your own words in, not just blog words (although that's what I did for this example). So fun!

Birthday Girl

Five years ago I was bouncing on a yoga ball in my living room (after eating a vat of my brother's spicy beef stroganoff) calmly saying, "I think I may be in labor." So, off we went to find my midwife and sure enough I was 5cm. dialated already. A few hours later, into this world entered the the most beautiful, perfectly clean, absolutely gorgeous newborn infant you've every seen (really. no mishapen head, no vernix, completely bald). And she stole my heart just as her big sister did.

Madelyn Christine.

At 5:18am she will be 5. Five. Good grief.

She is just the cutest, funniest, wittiest, goofiest, most loveable child you've ever seen. She is the spunkiest, most persistent, most demanding, most frustrating, most hardheaded child you've ever met. She is a ball of sunshine and a ball of fire! She is an awesome, fun, sometimes crazy and annoying little sister and a gentle, loving, protective big sister. She is the daughter that most keeps us on our toes and surprises us into smiles and hysterical laughter every, single day. I just love her so much - each day she brightens and challenges my life. I can't imagine life without her sunshine face.

So, HaPpY bIrThDaY, Madelyn Magillicutty, Sabos, Madda, Madagascar, Maddawitz, my Fitz!! I love you bigger that the biggest ocean my big 5-year-old!

sooooooo....

this summer is FLYING by. How is July already half over?

We've been busting our butts getting this house ready... to sell! Yeah you heard that right. We're following Jennifer and Marcus' lead. It just makes sense. We crunched the numbers and discovered, because we have so much equity in this house (thank you California real estate market) and the value has gone up so much, we can get a house with 500-750 more square feet for $500-600 less a month. How could we not? It's stressful, but will be worth it in the long run. Especially since Ryan is looking at a paycut when he gets "the call" and will be gone for 6 months. And I'm thinking of going back to school for a year to get my teaching credential next August because his G.I. bill will pay for it. We're just worried we'll need extra money every month. Plus, the girls are getting more and more expensive with their extracurricular activities... and we want to take more vacations. Blah, blah, blah. It's just a good financial move for us right now. I hate being "house poor" and, although it is very nice, this house has become too small for us. So, please pray that this is a smooth transition for us.

Anywho, in other exciting news... Ryan made Chief in the Navy!!! I'm so proud of him. It's a pay raise (when he's on duty and activated) and more respect and something he's tried like 3 times to get. The bad news is he'll be activated in 2010 for a YEAR (6 months in Virginia training and 6 months overseas - that sucks!). Let's just hope the 6 months he'll be in North Carolina at the Customs Academy won't be immediately before that. I know God has a plan - and I have faith - I just hope me being a single parent 18 months straight isn't part of it;)

So, that's a mini-update on us. I'll try to do better posting. I'll be spending most of my time keeping this house clean (which is no easy task with 3 Tazmanian Devils) and shopping online for a new house. That's it...

Justa Swangin'

inspiring.

wow.

This song speaks to me